“When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It’s up to you! Encouragement should come from inside”
I know this! But I guess sometimes I put too many expectations on myself and those around me. Or perhaps, I just remember past parallel memories and hold fast to how that experience was and expect it to be the same this time around too.
I remember a few different times in my life when I was going through this similar kind of journey I am now. Especially the most recent, when I made significant changes in my body. During that time I would get a lot of my motivation and encouragement through attention and simple validations from other people, “you look so good!”,“ OMG!, have you lost weight?”, “ you seem to have a lot of energy” , “ What’s different about you?” , “you working out?”, “ your abs are so hard”, ” your body is amazing”, “ you should compete”, “you should become a personal trainer”……
For the record, I am the wiser; I know in my heart that I don’t need validation from anyone to know my own beauty or worth. I don’t care how liberated or confident you are. Trust me, I like to consider myself both. It’s just that when you hear it, it does affirm all that you’re doing and boost the ego slightly enough to push and drive you to do more.
For me it gives me that extra motivation to keep going when I’m doubting my progress , in turn it substantiates all the hard work and effort I’ve put in to any given point. On the contrary, when you aren’t hearing it, you wonder and begin to doubt your self-improvements. Maybe you don’t? But I do!
With that being said, I suppose it’s just not noticeable enough at this point of dropping 2 pants sizes and nearly 20 pounds to expect walking in a room full of people and be showered with self- esteem endorsements. True that, “the surest way to lose self-worth is by trying to find it through the eyes of others.”
The simple things that mind screw us are the skewed pictures in our own heads of how we visualize it’s going to be and what we expect of people around us to react. I know this… expectation defiantly feeds frustration! Whether it is my own or those of which I want to draw support from. For the sake of sanity, something I defiantly need to let go of!
Perhaps right now my expectation verses my reality is just way off? What I need and what I think a lot of other people need too is a lot more patience with themselves. Instead of letting disappointment and doubt creep its ugly head into our consciousness. Perhaps, a little self-preservation and faith knowing in time the pronounced accolades will come.
Not that we need them, Not that I need them, because we certainly don’t! However, the skinnies we all want to hear will be heard when you’ve actually worked hard enough to surpass beyond notice. All knowing, without comparing the past, that they will come when they are finally obvious and apparent to others beyond recognition, or when you start to wear the clothes that prove you’ve done the work, that is when (in time) they will be true , genuine and well earned .